it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
