Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
