if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
