I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
