In America we eat man semen.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
