we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
