How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize