First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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