Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
