My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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