I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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