It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
