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• (510): View more from California

  he said he didn't have a condom.

  (415): View more from California

  and you said?

  (510): View more from California

  that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.

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• (209): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions

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