i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
