she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
