Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
