it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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