Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
