We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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