I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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