Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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