i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
