i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize