Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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