I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
