i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
