Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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