i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
