im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
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I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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