Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
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It's blow job season.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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