well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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