what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
