Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
