You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
