In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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