her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I will pee on everything he values.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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