I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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