I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?