Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3