I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my shit smells like andre
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize