So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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