okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
