I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
