I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.