i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm always down for nudity.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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