I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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