I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
