Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im holly from the hills drunk
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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