i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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