So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
