And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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