omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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