the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
