I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
