I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
