Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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