Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
