I could make wine with my vomit
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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