i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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