I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
