I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i think my tv is drunk
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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