You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
