if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize